The (I)CRVN Blog

There really is no greater window to the American psyche and character than late night ads and infomercials.  Nothing else helps us understand our idiosyncrasies and failures.  Only in this country (maybe England, as well) could we create celebrity out of commercials.  (Latest example?  He smells different and is on a horse.)  From the Maytag Man to the late Billy Mays, and from Clara Peller or the Snapple Lady to Vince the Slap Chop guy, we have an uncanny ability to create fame from nothing.  Clearly, advertising in this country is a powerful thing.

However, it also shows another side of our collective persona: we are a nation of gullible idiots.  The most recent case in point is something called the “EZ Cracker,” a rather archaic torture device supposedly designed to take the difficulty out of cracking and separating eggs.

One commonality amongst these ads are those few moments at the beginning of the ad where we are shown various scenes designed (hopefully) to make us sit up and take notice of some otherworldly dilemma.  Said dilemma will soon be completely solved for us by the miracle product they are breathlessly waiting to sell us!  However…

Pay any attention to these ads and you will notice that no matter how useful the gadget being sold might be, the people acting out our frustrations involving said activity the gadget is designed to end are, and this is only my observation, lobotomized hand models.  At best.

Is it really that difficult to form a hamburger patty, Mr Mays?  No, of course not.  A piece of plastic wrap and the lid from a 32-ounce jar of mayonnaise will do the trick if you don’t have the patience to form them by hand.

Are blankets really that complex and difficult in relation to one’s arms?  No.

But these product prove that when you have a fairly goofball idea and an audience of insomniacs (or better, people recovering from surgery that can’t sleep and are hopped up on pain meds) in front of their teevees with credit cards in hand, you can make a lot of money.

Sure, you might be saying to yourself that you are a lot smarter than the average bear, and as such are not vulnerable to such obvious pitchwork.  That may be true, dear reader, but if I may note: Someone is.  After all, if these adverts were not successful, would you know who the hell Billy Mays was at all?  Or would there be a television show centered around the creation of these adverts on the Discovery channel?

So, whereas all advertising is designed to make us want something no matter how much we do not need the product, or how stupid the product really is upon reflection…  What the hell makes those late night adverts and infomercials so…  Compellingly ridiculous?

Seriously, what the hell made a blanket with sleeves, a super-absorbent cloth, or a knife that (supposedly) can cut a brick such national phenomena?

The advert for the EZ Cracker may help, in general terms.  (One sidebar: the first “spokesperson” for the EZ Cracker?  The Snapple Lady.  Not kidding.)

First, we have the intro, which shows us that you are not alone!  No, you are not the only person having trouble neatly cracking eggs, especially when you throw them at a frying pan!  Or how about when we’ve all had to recover an egg once we’ve slammed a fork onto the egg, like some out-of-practice Nazi torturer?  And don’t forget how everyone cracks an egg by squeezing it like a stress ball while simultaneously slamming it on the counter?

Clearly, these first few moments are designed to make us feel superior, and setting us up to feel inferior.  Why superior?  The examples of egg-cracking are so absurd that we all pretty much react with a jaded “oh, come on!”  The inferiority comes at the next segment, which introduces the product.

At the introduction, to counteract any potential rejection of the product, they move to the phase where they explain just why you need this product!  For the EZ Cracker, that particular reason is that it saves you from cleaning up poorly cracked eggs.  And, to drive home that point, they use the same lobotomized hand models who were just playing handball with the eggs to crack them in segment one to clean up the mess.

These nitwads use a variety of items to clean up the eggmess, including a washcloth and a single paper towel.  Ironically, no one uses a Shamwow.

Then we get another handful of demonstrations of how well the product is supposed to work, or how much easier it is to read now that you have sleeves.  Then the more maddening aspect of the ad begins, and we are shown just how much we can do because of this miracle device!

Only now with the EZ Cracker, for example, can you make an eggwhite omelet, or make a meringue.  Because, of course, there was just no way in hell you could ever do these things before, but now that you can (Shazam!) get into the egg…

But wait! There’s more!

Now that we’ve been lulled into feeling both superior to the product, and unable to live without, it…  The kicker!

Not only do we get our egg cracking whiz of a device for only $19.95 (or, in another version, just two payments of ten dollars!), we get…

(Are you sitting down?)

A free gift!

The EZ Cracker has been advertised with two different free gifts: The Bacon Wave (designed to microwave a pound of bacon by standing the strips up in a bizarre truss), and the Egg Scrambler.

I have to admit that the egg scrambler looks more like an…  Adult toy than a culinary tool.  (And no, by “culinary tool,” I do not mean Rocco DiSpirito.)

Basically, you stick an egg onto this stick with a needle protruding from the top, and the needle vibrates enough to scramble the egg within the shell, which (exactly!) you then crack with your snazzy EZ Cracker!

Genius!

Not so much.  Considering my firsthand experience when icepick meets thumb, I am perfectly fine scrambling my egg with a fork in a bowl, which is probably far more sanitary than a hard to clean (without drawing blood, anyway) device like the Scrambler.

How these devices are supposed to sweeten the pot and make you pick up that phone and order this eventual kitchen sculpture is unclear, but it works.

The finale is usually designed to incite near panic, with the announcement that not only should you act on this great deal, but these products are not available in stores!  (Again, anyone who has inadvertently wandered through the center sections of one’s local megamart or discount store can tell you they are not only available in stores, they’re cheaper!)

Sigh.

What makes these adverts so maddening is that they do work.  Someone will buy the advertised product because at that moment, they have to have it!  With this egg cracker, people will order it not realizing that (a) they will have to handle the cracked shells no matter what, EZ Cracker or not, and (b) a small saucer and a moment of care cracks the egg just as well, if not better, than said device.  (And if you really need that thing to separate eggs, you can buy something much like the separating attachment for about $5 at your local discount-mart.)  Normally intelligent people are stupid at times.

Don’t believe me?  Look at that coffee you just got from your local CafeBucks.  There is a warning on your coffee that (please…  Sit down…  We at the ICRVN don’t have legal counsel if this upsets you) your coffee is hot!  Do you remember why?  Yep some dipnugget spilled coffee on herself, and sued the restaurant for serving her…  Hot coffee!

Warnings like that and devices like the EZ Cracker exist because someone is going to need one.

However, I have to say that even if you simply cannot handle cracking an egg without some sort of aid, the EZ Cracker may not be right for you.  Search YouTube and a video comes up reviewing the EZ Cracker, revealing that it works, but only begrudgingly at best, and it really doesn’t do much of what is advertised (no!).

Pay attention, for example, to the part where it cracks a hard-boiled egg, and you might just notice that editing is slickly performed to not actually show them peeling the same egg they cracked.  Not only that, but when they actually remove the egg from the two shell halves, you might notice the fact that they are removing a medium hard boiled egg from a large egg shell.

Kinda makes a difference, you know.

(By the way…  How do the makers of the EGGstractor feel about the EZ Cracker?  Just wondering…)

The EZ Cracker is also not dishwasher safe, making cleaning a bother, and therefore the device becomes a bacterial breeding ground.  Fun for the whole family!

Every facet of life has been targeted by these silly products and commercials.  From the “Perfect Brownie” pan to the “EmoryCat” de-clawer, any activity on any level of difficulty will inevitably earn its own infomercial product.  Don’t believe me?  Google “butter dispenser,” and see how someone managed to think pushing butter through a playdoh extruder was something we couldn’t live without.

Try “chillow” to see just what wonders science have done to remove us from the stress of flipping a pillow over!

Or, for that one thing you simply cannot live without, search “presidential knife set,” and thank me later.

But do it quick, this is a limited time commentary, and operators are napping.

Part two begins…

JULY

The Republican party got a sense of deja vu when the courts awarded the vacant senate seat in Minnesota to Al Franken.  India outlawed their ban on homosexuality, going against the cold-weather trend.  Citing a lack of “VP Candidate level perks and an inability to see much financial future in politics,” Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska to better help herself.  44 people, including three New Jersey mayors, were arrested for corruption and money laundering after no one told them the Sopranos was just a TV show.  South Carolina’s charge to infamy burst out of the gates in July when a Conway man was arrested for violating his probation.  He had been on probation for having sex with a horse.  He violated his probation by having sex with the same horse!  Sadly, this means that criminals practicing beastiality are more faithful than the state’s governor.

AUGUST

Figuring Bill was better than the other option, North Korea released the two jailed US journalists at the request of the more masculine (well, visually at least) Clinton.  Canadians everywhere rejoiced as Jeremy Roenick finally retired from the NHL, and moved on to annoy the TV and film industry.  “No Politician Left Behind” poster girl Sarah Palin protested death panels that did not exist and were also not in any form or draft of any legislation whatsoever.  Handlers suggested that no matter how dreamy she thought Heston was, she should stop watching Soylent Green constantly for ideas.  Cited for everything BUT job performance, Ben Bernanke was nominated for another term as head of the Federal Reserve.  A man from South Carolina (of course) died after he robbed a store having spray-painted his face to conceal his identity.  Edward Kennedy, longtime lion of the Senate, and the last politician to say that he cared about “regular folk” and actually do so, succumbed to cancer.  He will be missed.

SEPTEMBER

Kate Gosselin filmed a talk show pilot with Paula Deen, calling into question both the nature of fame and the need for talk shows.  The mayor of Willford in (say it with me) South Carolina issued an order preventing police from chasing certain suspects in order to save the town money.  President Obama gave an address via CCTV to students all over the country, stressing that they work hard and stay in school.  Republicans immediately adopted a “stay lazy and skirt through” policy, modelled after the successful plan of the previous president.  In an emotional and unplanned outburst, Representative Joe Wilson of South Carolina yells out “You Lie!” at the president during his joint session speech about health care.  Wilson would be rebuked by Congress a week later not for his outburst, but for being from South Carolina.  YO! YO! I’M GONNA LET YOU FINISH, YO, BUT I GOTTA SAY THAT CALIFORNIA HAD A WORSE YEAR, YO! Moving on…  Mackenzie Phillips released a book about why we all prefer Valeri Bertinelli.  Glenn Beck announced on Fox and Friends that he believed Obama to be a racist with deep-seeded hatred towards whites.  Obama refuted these claims, saying that he loved “all people.  Well, except for the batshit insane white folks on teevee with no link to reality or sense of decency.”

OCTOBER

Rio De Janiero won the 2016 Olympics over Chicago with a simple proposal of “it’s the summer games.  Whose citizens do you really want to see in bathing suits?”  President Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for his July Beer Summit at the White House.  Tiger Woods led the US team to victory in the President’s Cup despite claims he still needed help with his putter.  Ballooning for Children becomes a nationwide rage, quickly replaced by attic hiding.  Roman Polanski is arrested in Switzerland for his 1977 charge of molestation, after he was told to come to Zurich to accept his Publishers Clearing House prize.  The Assistant Attorney General of South (wait for it…) Carolina, Roland Corning, was arrested when he was discovered in a cemetery with various “aids” and an 18-year-old stripper.

NOVEMBER

A heat wave swept through Maine, so the state repealed the new same-sex marriage law.  Analysts pointed to the new 10% unemployment rate as a clear indicator that the recession was over.  It was revealed that there was in fact water on the moon.  It was in a Deer Park dispenser left there from 1969.  The government changed the insurance regulations and standards to change the standard age for mammograms for women to 50, while changing the standard age for free viagra to “whenever a man damn well pleases.”  A 600 pound cow fell from the sky and landed in a swimming pool in…  South Carolina.  Oprah, clearly defying the Mayans, announced her show would end on September 11, 2011.  In response, Jon and Kate ended their television show, and a nation shrugged its shoulders.  Tiger Woods, again having driving problems, ran into the ultimate sand trap.

DECEMBER

President Obama announced on national television that there was a timetable for withdrawal from Afghanistan, but that immediately, troop increases would take place.  The mayor of Arlington Texas, Russell Wiseman, claimed that our “muslim president” strategically timed his announcement to deliberately block the broadcast of A Charlie Brown Christmas.  Obama responded that a real Christian would own the DVD.  GE was able to sell NBC Universal to Comcast by convincing the company that Seinfeld and Cosby were just on a temporary holiday.  The divorce of Jon and Kate Gosselin was finalized, thereby confirming the Republican’s drive to save the sanctity of marriage.  South Carolina almost made it a month, were it not for the announcement by state First Lady Jenny Sanford that she was divorcing her husband, once he got back from the Appalachian Trail.

*Sigh.*

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

(Well – not you, South Carolina…  TRY to stay clean for 2010, okay?)

Part One…

To misquote FDR, 2009 is a year that will live in infamy.  Particularly if you are from South Carolina…  as I am.  While other states tried to take the spotlight from my home state, nothing worked, and my home state led with the biggest “WTF” moments throughout the year.  So, join me as I look back on a strange and screwy 2009, with a special focus on the inglorious, infamous events in and from South Carolina that proved that the South really isn’t all that deep.

JANUARY

The year began with Steve Jobs taking a leave of absence from Apple, prompting Circuit City to close from the stress.  U.S.Air pilot Chelsey “Sully” Sullenberger successfully tested the new Hudson River test landing strip, using flight 1549 as a flotation device.  The year of infamy started for South Carolina when state Senator Robert Ford (a former confidant to Martin Luther King, Jr) entered legislation to ban “saggy pants” and profanity.  No one was sure if the ban on profanity was to quell still lingering “WTF” reactions to Ford’s previous legislation combining MLK day with Confederate Memorial Day.  In one of the longest ceremonies ever, which included a lip-syncing cello and the Mad Hatter, Jesus was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States.  The year’s other theme, “dubious fame for the overworked uterus,” began with a California woman giving birth to eight babies and one agent.  An ignominious end came for the Democratic Party / Hair Club for Men experimental partnership when Rod Blagojevich was formally removed from office in Illinois (his hair was finally extricated in June).  The month ended with Michael Steele, the only black man able to make Cliff Huxtable look more “street” than Shaft, was named head of the Republican Party.

FEBRUARY

The Pittsburgh Steelers won their sixth Super Bowl in team history, in an effort to help the city forget about their baseball team.  Macy’s cut 7,000 jobs, including the Simon Bar Sinister balloon, leaving Underdog no one to chase.  Photos “surfaced” of Olympic hero Michael Phelps trying to get a water-pipe out of its wetsuit.  The photos were taken, of course, in South Carolina.  Congress voted another stimulus package into law, guaranteeing the financial solvency of Bernie Madoff’s lawyers.  Facebook announced new Terms of Service policies, which were promptly protested by millions of users updating their statuses.  Hugo Chavez won a huge victory as President of Venezuela when he had term limits eliminated.  From his ranch in Texas, George W. Bush asked if it was too late to do the same here.  In a televised address to the nation, President Obama announced his plan to end the war in Iraq on August 31, 2010 or December 21, 2012, whichever came first.

MARCH

The year of dubious uterine fame continued with rumors that Jon and Kate Gosselin may be splitting up.  The individual agents for their 8 children had no comment.  (Gosselin is apparently French for “the public’s albatross.”)  New Mexico ended their use of the death penalty, prompting every anti-death penalty group in the country to take sole credit, even though no one was paying attention.  After a long and bitter power struggle the President of Madagascar, Marc Ravalomanana, resigned and was replaced by four penguins.  The U.S. pledged $40 Million to Afghanistan to ‘facilitate’ elections under the new “Cash for Kandahari” program.  A Greenville woman continued South Carolina’s march when after unsuccessfully attempting to secure a babysitter for her four month old, she took the child with her… on an attempted armed robbery.

APRIL

Vermont and Sweden separately legalized gay marriage.  North Korea launched a rocket in order to prove to the rest of the world that they still knew which way was up.  Sallie Mae brought over 2,000 jobs back to the United States from overseas.  All 2,000 were assigned to be tech support for India.  Kim Jong Il celebrated his re-election to President of North Korea by singing “To Dream a Dream” on “Britain’s Got Talent.”  Tax-day “tea-party” protesters cheered on Texas Governor Rick Perry when he threatened that Texas might soon secede from the Union.  Perry does not follow through, even though most of the country was fine with his plan.  South Carolina struck again when a wildfire that ravaged Myrtle Beach and environs was revealed to have been a small debris fire started by a man named Torchi and unsuccessfully snuffed by two different firefighters.  Just in time for the annual Memphis in May barbecue competition, Swine Flu reached epidemic proportions in the U.S.  Longtime Republican Arlen Specter changed affiliations and became a Democrat, citing he “just couldn’t stand that Lieberman guy anymore.”  Justice David Souter resigned, citing a similar feeling towards colleague Antonin Scalia.

MAY

Fifty-to-one long shot Mine That Bird won the Kentucky Derby, reminding the country for a moment that people still race horses.  Maine decided Vermont needed a partner and also legalized same-sex marriage.  Scientists revealed the discovery of a missing link of homo sapien, a 47 million year old primate nicknamed “Ida,” who had apparently died after having gone missing after asking for directions of early hominids.  In an effort to help consumers, Congress passed a law restricting the practices of credit card companies.  The companies replied by destroying the credit ratings of everyone in the country, and bombarding the airwaves with more of those “free credit report” singing ads.  A judge in California ended our collective gastro-suspense, throwing out a lawsuit by a woman claiming she was misled by PepsiCo and Quaker into believing that crunchberries were a real fruit.  The Chinese furthered their reputation for being community-minded when a man contemplating suicide by jumping off a bridge during rush-hour was pushed off the bridge by a driver tired of waiting in traffic.  California banned same-sex marriage, convincing everyone that same-sex marriage is only for those in cold climates.  Judge Sonya Sotomayor was chosen to replace David Souter based solely on her ability to intimidate Scalia.  South Carolina gets the last word in May thanks to a Waffle House waitress who pulled a gun on her customers when they complained that her service wasn’t of a high caliber.

JUNE

New Hampshire spotted an opportunity to finally challenge California for tourism dollars and legalized same-sex marriage.  China blocked any and all commemoration of the 20th anniversary of the Tienanmen Square conflict after entertainers submitted as the proposed opening theme “Tanks for the Memories.”  North Korea sentenced two American journalists to 12 years in prison, or until someone other than Hilary Clinton visits.  Former state election chair got South Carolina rolling in June when he compared first lady Michelle Obama to an escaped gorilla.  In Iran, President Ahmadinejad won a landslide re-election, confirmed by a careful scrutineering of ten percent of the ballots forged by his family.  Former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf, after being arrested for breaking and entering, apparently only needs enhancement surgery to be an adequate example of every use of the word “bust.”  Jon and Kate continued their efforts to be the John and Lorena of the 2000s when they announce their legal separation.  Agents for their 8 kids had no comment, and rumors that Jon was dating the Octomom and that Kate was trying to re-form “Flock of Seaguls” were also dismissed.  Michael Jackson died suddenly, and was honored in a moving ceremony sponsored by Isotoner and Ray-Ban.  Jackson’s death was not enough to keep South Carolina out of the news, as it was revealed that Governor Mark Sanford did not like to hike the Appalachian Trail as reported, but in fact was flying back and forth to South America to have an extramarital affair with an Argentinian woman.  Most South Carolinians breathed a mild sigh of relief that Sanford was not sleeping with a cousin, which would have furthered the embarrassment of South Carolinians everywhere.

However…

The year was young!

Next week…  Part Two!

Another one of those multi-topic posts of whatever I’ve had on the brain of late.  Starting with:

• Apparently, not long after leaving office while giving a business address in Canada, former President Bush announced he would soon begin an international speaking tour.  Like his town hall meetings, the audience is to be preselected to his skills as an orator.  Bush hopes to be able to open for Raffi at least ten times this year.
• Alton Brown recently sat for a series of video interviews on the food blog Serious Eats.  The best is the description of some fried chicken he had during the motorcycle tour broadcast on Feasting on Asphalt.
• It amazes me that in today’s economy, where auto companies are severing ties with dealers (and not allowing said dealers to return the cars to the manufacturers) and nearly every industry is downsizing, that this online dealer remains in business.  After all, it’s hard to slum it in a $150 sundress.
• Caught a few minutes of a cooking show on American Life TV (yes – before a rerun of M:I) where one ingredient was referred to as Graham Masilla.  Ah, the wonders of diversity.
• A new football league is starting up.  No, not the UFL…  The LFL – the Lingerie Football League.  I’m guessing this is Victoria’s Secret.  (This, or that lingerie models stink in a 3-4 defensive formation.)
• Saw Star Trek with the wife.  Holy crap what a great movie!
• And finally, I’ve succumbed.  I’ve been borgified.  I’ve started a Twitter account.  Weep for me.

As I mentioned earlier, the family’s been battling a pretty heavy-duty virus for a long time now, and I am finally getting a moment to post some notes from the past few weeks (yes, weeks).  So, of course, I’m now fighting a doozy of a migraine, too…

In no particular order:

• The fact that the Bush administration’s last act was to triple the tariffs on Roquefort cheese imports is just ridiculous.  Not only is it a blatantly obvious retaliatory strike against the French for their banning certain hormones that are regularly injected into US beef, it’s also a really nasty move when you consider that the county of Roquefort’s economy is tied greatly to the export of the cheese.  Hopefully, in time, President Obama will reverse the tariff or at least reduce it so that this cheese can once again be imported at a reasonable rate, helping both the county of Roquefort and my cheese trays.
• Did any of you watch the NHL Super Skills competition prior to this year’s All Star Game?  Why were there cheerleaders?  And for that matter, did they all have to have such large breasts?  Was this Bettman’s way of making sure that he – for the day at least – wasn’t the biggest boob in the NHL?
• Many people were upset at the inauguration speech of President Obama, hoping for the next “ask not what your country can do for you” moment.  I for one am glad, and I was quite pleased with Obama’s speech.  It was direct, said what Obama believed needed to be said, and lacked the one thing that the previous administration had been shoving down our throats for years: catchphrases.
• I saw a picture of Amy Winehouse recently, and in all sincere honesty, my initial reaction to the photo was that Jamie Farr had really let himself go.  My apologies to Mr. Farr.
• Did anyone else catch the news that one of Bernie Madoff’s victims was an author who was working to release his latest book while being swindled by Madoff?  The title of the book is (and I swear this is true) Annals of Gullibility: Why We Get Duped And How to Avoid It.
• I saw a blurb recently about Heather Mills (the ex-Mrs Paul McCartney) that made me wonder if she’s just incredibly stupid.  She apparently cannot figure out why she’s become so popular with single men.  She thinks that it’s because she’s comfortable with herself.  I would think the $40 million she netted in the divorce helps.
• Get ready for Palin 2012.  Nitwit of the North has formed “SarahPAC” to help build a “better, stronger, and safer America in the 21st century.”  Right.  I’m not too worried.  First, Alaska is one of the hardest hit states in this recedepression, and secondly, PACs don’t tend to get Neiman Marcus Gold Cards.

That’s all for now.  Drive home safe.

From cnn.com, January 7, 2009:

Porn industry seeks federal bailout.

I can’t begin to address the tragedies that happened Friday.  I work in retail, and my current livelihood is dependent upon people coming in to the store and shopping.  However, you have to wonder about our society and culture when a cheap TV is more important than someone’s life.

Perhaps part of the blame should go to advertising agencies that try to make us think that shopping for presents right after Thanksgiving is the be all and end all of existence.  For example, did anyone else catch this absurd advert running last week?:

Of course the holidays are about giving, but we all remember that one gift.  The one we wrote letters asking for and finished all our vegetables for.  This year, get huge savings on gifts for the whole family, during the Bass Pro Shops’ five-hour sale Friday morning from 6 to eleven.

This is not only absurd from the standpoint of “Bass Pro Shops?”  (Really?  They are my one-stop-shop this season?  Yeah – my mother-in-law really wants more bait…)  This ad even seems to reach out and tweak our already fragile economic status by letting us know that if we don’t come out at 6am (or worse, Kohl’s opened at 4!) we’re not only bad consumers, we’re bad parents/friends/Americans.

I might be overreacting, but when you consider that three people died as a result of American consumerism, I doubt it.  Particularly when you add in the idea that one woman was caught in the Walmart trampling and stomped about herself.  Her reaction?  She got up, shopped, and then went to the police!

Happy Holidaze.

My favorite Formula One driver, Rubens Barrichello, may not get a drive for the 2009 season.  He has won several races, and has some 13 years and nearly 300 races under his (timing) belt.  Certainly, that experience should be worth something to even the backmarkers.  However, it looks like Rubens is not going to race because he’s “too old.”

I’m the same age as Rubens.

It must be nice to be able to retire at 35, cash in one’s millions, and spend the rest of your life playing with your new child.

There really is no greater disconnect than that which exists between the realm of Athletics and the “real” world (and I’m not talking the difference between Northern Virginia and the rest of the state)…

So, let me get this straight:

Bush is pushing for taxpayer monies to bail out the banks… that the taxpayers are in debt to?

Oh, yeah… The fundmentals of our economy are sound, alright!